Club Events

Lounge Thoughts

If you have ever had a conversation with me about what we do here at the Seattle Social Club then you know that one of my favorite concepts in Socialization theory is the concept of Weak Ties. I’ve been thinking about it a lot more recently on my own Dating and Friend making journey and also in how we structure our events. I thought I’d take to the time to throw around some thoughts on how we all could use the concept of Weak Ties to improve our Seattle experience.

What the Heck Are Strong and Weak Ties?

Strong ties are those in your community that you would describe as your close circle. They are your best friends, your family members, your roommate and anyone else you regularly make plans with and hang out with. They are the ride or die’s, those you go to for advice, and those you get into crazy adventures with.

Weak Ties on the other hand are those that in a way orbit your close circle. These are the friends of friends, your friends roommates, that coworker you chat with occasionally, or the person you keep running into in your apartment elevator. It’s the barista who knows your order by heart or that random guy you keep seeing at parties in your friend group. You see them regularly but you don’t hang out with them. In Social Theory, its been shown that these people are the ones that will provide you with new opportunities in life. They help you network for new career opportunities and get you that dream job. You end up asking one of them out and boom you’ve found your wife. They are the connection between your circle and another existing circle in the world. In other words, they are your local community!

That’s great to know, but why does it matter?

Great question! If we know that these people are the ones that allow us to expand our community and our horizons, then we can lean into it and see better results in our goals while dating and finding new friends! We can also use it to break the Seattle Freeze.

Here’s a few ways you can tap into your weak tie network:

Summer is a very social time for many of us and we’re all busy planning fun activities to do in the sunshine. When making plans with a friend, ask them to bring a new friend along. If you do the same then both you and your friend will have expanded your weak tie network. Who knows, they may have brought along your next partner.

Hosting a party? Tell everyone to bring a new friend and encourage them to all bring a weak tie. Tell them it’s the perfect excuse to ask out that person they’ve been eyeing at the Pickleball Courts or at the grocery store. They now have the perfect opener: “My friend is hosting a party, and everyone needs to bring a new person, want to go with me?” Boom, new connection made!

Attending a Seattle Social Club Event? Worried about the gender balance? Ask a friend of a different gender identity to go with you. If everyone does this, we’ll have a diverse set of identities and demographics which means more chances to meet the love of your life!

Maybe you attended an event with us and while you didn’t make a connection at the event you made a new friend. Think about those in your circle who may be a good match for them and suggest they go out (or hang out as friends). You’ll help your friend find their match and if enough people do this, someone may even suggest someone for you at an event!

Green Lake is a magical place in the summer. Simply ask one of your weak ties(that guy at the gym, or the woman you always chat with at the volley ball courts) if they would like to grab coffee and go for a walk around the lake. It can be platonic or with dating in mind, whatever approach you take, the lake is a great way to connect with someone new!

It’s a matchmake summer!

The strength of your community is the number of weak ties around you. Lean into them and intentionally work towards increasing the number of weak ties you have. The more people you interact with, the better your chances of making a new best friend or finding the love of your life! If that hinge date didn’t work out, maybe you have someone that would be a better fit for them. Maybe your friend plays volley ball with someone who has the exact same sense of humor as you. Ask for an introduction! If we all help each other increase our social circle, the odds of each of us finding our new friends or partners increases dramatically! If you’re not sure where to start, come to an event with us and lets chat! We have amazing people who attend our events and one may just be perfect for you! In short, whether you are looking for friends or the one, it’s a matchmaker summer!

~ Lucas

Time for fun!

This week’s Time for Fun is a social challenge! Your task, should you choose to accept it, is:

This could be a friend of a friend, a co-worker, or that person you keep seeing at the grocery store or gym. Help expand your friends weak ties and ask them to return the favor. Remember, your weak ties are how you expand your community and often lead to great things!