Club Events

Lounge Thoughts

Here at the Seattle Social Club, we’re excited for Speed dating to return this month at Comet Tavern. It’s one of our favorite and most successful events with a match rate of around 42%. It’s a great way to perform a brief vibe check with potential dates and to spark a potential connection.

Since this is one of our most successful and popular events, we thought we’d put together some helpful tips to help you increase your chances of success. Four minutes is not a lot of time to get to know someone and if you’re not careful, the time just flies by! So check out the following tips and prepare to have a fun time.

1. Go in with an open mind and a positive attitude. Speed dating is meant to be fun and light hearted and you only have a small amount of time to make a good impression. If you go in with a positive attitude your date will pick up on it and respond in kind!

2. Change your expectations. You can’t possibly know if someone is right for you by only chatting for four minutes, its impossible. So don’t think about if you want to date this person, or if you would be a great long term match. Think instead about whether you had fun during your conversation together and if you would be interested in getting to know this person more on a real date.

3. Prepare a standby question. While we give you some conversation starters before you sit down, it can be helpful to have a question ready that can give you a useful signal about whether there is possibility for connection. If you value joy, ask them “what brought you joy recently”. If you are goal oriented ask “what are you currently working on”. Maybe you’re a bit wacky like me, in that case ask them “would they rather be a left shoe or a right shoe”. You can learn a lot about a person’s values by the shoe they pick.

4. Stay away from the boring! Speaking of discussion topics, stay away from the boring ones. You’ll be going on roughly 15 dates, and it’s going to be really boring if you have to answer the same questions over and over: Where are you from? How long have you been here? Where do you work? How old are you? You only have 4 minutes with your date and wasting time on these questions is going to make your experience quite boring. Instead stand out and ask fun questions, laugh with your date, and cover the boring stuff on a real date later.

5. Embrace the Awkward. It can be hard to sit down across from someone you’ve never met before, know nothing about, and be under time pressure. It has all the makings of an awkward situation! Lean into it and embrace the awkward! Make a joke, commiserate on how you’re both a bit nervous, or just power through. Make sure to smile and laugh, you’ll get through the awkwardness in no time!

6. Do I like them? Most daters today take the approach of trying to show themselves off. They talk endlessly about their adventures or the things that make them cool and try really hard to get the person across the table to like them. This helps the conversation flow and they may like the front you’ve put on but when you leave the conversation you’ve learned nothing about the other person and whether they are a right match for you. A better approach is to try and figure out if you like them! Ask them questions about themselves, listen to their stories, and figure out if this person is a good match. This way you can decide if you want to match with the person for another date. A bonus of this approach is that if both daters are taking this approach then you have a nice back and forth conversation that is authentic and genuine and you both get to see the real you. It also takes a lot of pressure off of you!

7. Remember the odds! As part of the matching process, you only get to choose up to 4 people you’d like to see again. A match occurs if both participants select each others names and then each receives the others contact information. Many folks try to put down the hottest most attractive folks down on their match forms hoping they get a connection, even if they didn’t have a great conversation. Remember they can also only put down 4 people, so if you didn’t have a great conversation then the chances are low you’ll match. Instead, you should focus on putting down the people who you had great dates with. The odds of connecting are much higher and you’ll probably actually enjoy going on a second date!

8. Take a deep breath! Speed dating is fast paced with very little time between dates. You will bounce from table to table often with only 30 seconds between dates. Before you sit down, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and then take a seat. Resetting between dates can help ensure that when you sit down with your next date, you’re ready to be fully present and focus on the person across from you.

9. Have fun! Speed dating is meant to be fun! Approach it with no expectations and view it as a fun way to get to know new folks. It can be where you meet a potential new romantic partner, a new best friend, or it’ll just be a story to tell your friends later on. Don’t put pressure on yourself to decide on if you’re gonna marry them or stay together for years. Just sit down and try to have fun! Make jokes, laugh, flirt, and enjoy the experience!

We’re excited to see you at Speed Dating and hope these tips help you make the most of the event! These tips are also great for dating out in the real world do! The next time you go on a hinge date, remember these tips and see how your experience changes!

Time for fun!

Check out this weeks crossword!